The Twelve Days of Kinkmas

Entertainment Dec 11, 2022

With the Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special having just come out, and my lifelong obsession with all things Marvel, I felt like kicking off the holiday season this week with a classic English Christmas carol. Naturally, I’ve bastardised it with fetish smut (tastelessly slapped together with MCU heroes), but to the classic tune!

This is,

‘The Twelve Days of Kinkmas’
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“On the first day of Kinkmas,
Black Widow gave to me:
Leather, rubber & neoprene!
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On the second day of Kinkmas,
Kate Bishop gave to me:
Two anal beads,
Leather, rubber & neoprene!
On the third day of Kinkmas,
Black Panther gave to me:
Three pup hoods,
Two anal beads,
Leather, rubber & neoprene!
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On the fourth day of Kinkmas,
Thor & Hulk gave to me:
Four muscle suits,
Three pup hoods,
Two anal beads,
Leather, rubber & neoprene!
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On the fifth day of Kinkmas,
Then Shang-Chi gave to me:
Five cock rings,
Four muscle suits,
Three pup hoods,
Two anal beads,
Leather, rubber & neoprene!
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On the sixth day of Kinkmas,
Iron Man gave to me:
Six drones a-humping,
Five cock rings,
Four muscle suits,
Three pup hoods,
Two anal beads,
Leather, rubber & neoprene!
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On the seventh day of Kinkmas,
Spider-Man gave to me:
Seven ropes a-binding,
Six drones a-humping,
Five cock rings,
Four muscle suits,
Three pup hoods,
Two anal beads,
Leather, rubber & neoprene!
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On the eighth day of Kinkmas,
The Vision gave to me:
Eight pumps a-milking,
Seven ropes a-binding,
Six drones a-humping,
Five cock rings,
Four muscle suits,
Three pup hoods,
Two anal beads,
Leather, rubber & neoprene!
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On the ninth day of Kinkmas,
Scarlet Witch gave to me:
Nine hypno sessions,
Eight pumps a-milking,
Seven ropes a-binding,
Six drones a-humping,
Five cock rings,
Four muscle suits,
Three pup hoods,
Two anal beads,
Leather, rubber & neoprene!
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On the tenth day of Kinkmas,
Valkyrie gave to me:
Ten ponies ridden,
Nine hypno sessions,
Eight pumps a-milking,
Seven ropes a-binding,
Six drones a-humping,
Five cock rings,
Four muscle suits,
Three pup hoods,
Two anal beads,
Leather, rubber & neoprene!
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On the eleventh day of Kinkmas,
Nebula gave to me:
Eleven floggers flogging,
Ten ponies ridden,
Nine hypno sessions,
Eight pumps a-milking,
Seven ropes a-binding,
Six drones a-humping,
Five cock rings,
Four muscle suits,
Three pup hoods,
Two anal beads,
Leather, rubber & neoprene!
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On the twelfth day of Kinkmas,
Doctor Strange gave to me:
Twelve transformations,
Eleven floggers flogging,
Ten ponies ridden,
Nine hypno sessions,
Eight pumps a-milking,
Seven ropes a-binding,
Six drones a-humping,
Five cock rings,
Four muscle suits,
Three pup hoods,
Two anal beads,
Leather, rubber & neoprene!”

Happy Holidays to All!

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