The Twelve Days of Kinkmas
With the Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special having just come out, and my lifelong obsession with all things Marvel, I felt like kicking off the holiday season this week with a classic English Christmas carol. Naturally, I’ve bastardised it with fetish smut (tastelessly slapped together with MCU heroes), but to the classic tune!
This is,
‘The Twelve Days of Kinkmas’
“On the first day of Kinkmas,
Black Widow gave to me:
Leather, rubber & neoprene!
On the second day of Kinkmas,
Kate Bishop gave to me:
Two anal beads,
Leather, rubber & neoprene!
On the third day of Kinkmas,
Black Panther gave to me:
Three pup hoods,
Two anal beads,
Leather, rubber & neoprene!
On the fourth day of Kinkmas,
Thor & Hulk gave to me:
Four muscle suits,
Three pup hoods,
Two anal beads,
Leather, rubber & neoprene!
On the fifth day of Kinkmas,
Then Shang-Chi gave to me:
Five cock rings,
Four muscle suits,
Three pup hoods,
Two anal beads,
Leather, rubber & neoprene!
On the sixth day of Kinkmas,
Iron Man gave to me:
Six drones a-humping,
Five cock rings,
Four muscle suits,
Three pup hoods,
Two anal beads,
Leather, rubber & neoprene!
On the seventh day of Kinkmas,
Spider-Man gave to me:
Seven ropes a-binding,
Six drones a-humping,
Five cock rings,
Four muscle suits,
Three pup hoods,
Two anal beads,
Leather, rubber & neoprene!
On the eighth day of Kinkmas,
The Vision gave to me:
Eight pumps a-milking,
Seven ropes a-binding,
Six drones a-humping,
Five cock rings,
Four muscle suits,
Three pup hoods,
Two anal beads,
Leather, rubber & neoprene!
On the ninth day of Kinkmas,
Scarlet Witch gave to me:
Nine hypno sessions,
Eight pumps a-milking,
Seven ropes a-binding,
Six drones a-humping,
Five cock rings,
Four muscle suits,
Three pup hoods,
Two anal beads,
Leather, rubber & neoprene!
On the tenth day of Kinkmas,
Valkyrie gave to me:
Ten ponies ridden,
Nine hypno sessions,
Eight pumps a-milking,
Seven ropes a-binding,
Six drones a-humping,
Five cock rings,
Four muscle suits,
Three pup hoods,
Two anal beads,
Leather, rubber & neoprene!
On the eleventh day of Kinkmas,
Nebula gave to me:
Eleven floggers flogging,
Ten ponies ridden,
Nine hypno sessions,
Eight pumps a-milking,
Seven ropes a-binding,
Six drones a-humping,
Five cock rings,
Four muscle suits,
Three pup hoods,
Two anal beads,
Leather, rubber & neoprene!
On the twelfth day of Kinkmas,
Doctor Strange gave to me:
Twelve transformations,
Eleven floggers flogging,
Ten ponies ridden,
Nine hypno sessions,
Eight pumps a-milking,
Seven ropes a-binding,
Six drones a-humping,
Five cock rings,
Four muscle suits,
Three pup hoods,
Two anal beads,
Leather, rubber & neoprene!”
Happy Holidays to All!
