Have you ever wondered what it would be like to experience your kink throughout the day? Ever asked how those people online get the confidence to do it? Maybe you just like to read things dealing with kink culture.
Then this is the article for you!
Here we’re going to dive into the different ways people bring kink out of the bedroom and into day-to-day life. With answers from all around the different communities of the internet. Ah yes, that place of sweet release where one can abandon the world of worries and dive into one of pure pleasure. While you peruse your favorite platform full of the delightful world of kink you may have come across people “in the wild” participating in kink. From large-scale events to small gatherings, or even just to grab a bite, people from all over find ways to show an aspect of their life they enjoy so much; KINKS!
But what brought these people to the level of confidence they’re at now? When does one get to a point of wanting kinks to be involved in more aspects outside of fantasy? For that, we go to our fellow kinksters to ask the important questions (like the one above) and some questions you may have never truly considered while clicking that like button.
The questionnaire was 26 questions long and purely voluntary, meaning each person who chose to participate could choose to skip as many questions as they want.
This was designed to help each person feel comfortable answering to the fullest of their ability without pressuring them to just choose an option on a question. Nothing skews results more than a forced or lied-about answer. So I kept the questions short, sweet, and to the point.
Out of the 56 people who decided to participate, 52 of them answered every single question. This really helps as it shows how comfortable people are talking about certain topics within kinks/fetishes and which topics could be a little too revealing; whether that be to the one asking the questions or the participants themselves. When you have to think deeply about each question and choose to share that info, you’re making it more obvious to yourself. Meaning you can’t avoid it whether it’s monthly costs or just how it all started; that information is now standing there menacingly.
Beyond confronting seemingly innocent questions I also created a scale-based portion of the questionnaire. Each question was to be rated on a scale from 1 to 5; 1 meaning strongly disagrees and 5 meaning strongly agrees. These were also completely voluntary, like the rest, but were directed more towards personal opinions than facts. I wanted to see if there was any correlation between someone’s comfortability when it comes to kinks/fetishes beyond their own daily use. This was also the only section where all 56 participants answered every question showing when it comes to personal opinions we’re more likely to share.
To end the questionnaire, I left a section for people to tell their sides. Whether it be how they discovered their kink/fetish, what the steps to involving it are or what they hoped would happen in the future. I’ll be sharing the ones who gave me permission towards the end of the article and encourage you to read them. These will be words directly from people you probably interact with on a daily basis.
This section of the questionnaire dealt directly with what the title says, the basics of kinks in the day-to-day. We’re talking cost, average time spent indulging oneself, what community are you part of, and much more.
The answers received honestly lifted a weight off my shoulders as they confirmed my spending habits in my own kinks/fetishes are pretty average. It also showed that the majority of people who do involve their kink in their daily life have someone that interacts with that item within their daily life.
This could range from a coworker that knows what your collar stands for, to someone who provides a caregiver role. We all strive for some sort of connection through our kinks as it creates a form of acceptance. And that can lead one to think this is how it’ll always be regardless of their situation at the time. I’m looking at those concerned about wearing a diaper in public, worried others with look and ridicule them. Well, what if I said that of the 33 participants who said someone interacted with their kink item, only 3 said it was always like that?
“But Casey, what the heck is that supposed to mean?”
I’m so glad you asked. Personally, I see it as a way to tell you to find self-acceptance first. Self-exploration and acceptance are key to kinks and fetishes alike. If you are more apprehensive about incorporating your kink in a small way daily it’s probably due to the normal fears of exposing your kinks and being ridiculed. But you’re not alone in this matter, let’s look at how that fear is shared between the kinky and the “vanilla”. ABDLs, from most accounts, would love to be able to wear their diapers daily. One of the big concerns is someone seeing your diaper and being ridiculed, regardless if it’s medical or ABDL style. Guess what? That’s a concern for most people suffering from incontinence and they deal with it daily; it gets better. It means you stop worrying about what others would think or say, as most people just don’t care.
But not everyone is ABDL; another strong portion of participants was from the Pup Play community. When asked what initially prevented them from collaring in public, 32 people chimed in. 53.1% said it was a fear of being judged, which makes sense as this is a shared topic across all aspects of life. You want to be yourself but don’t want to be judged by others for it; truly a never-ending battle.
When asked if participants would use a more “normalized” alternative of their item (if there were some) 30 participants said they wouldn't use them, while 21 participants said they would use a normalized alternative. When thinking of a normalized alternative, you might imagine something you'd find in your local department store or pharmacy, and these places don't have the best track record with quality products. This leaves a bad taste in most people's mouths, especially when it comes to ABDLs and medical diapers, which pushes people away from trying a different one. Especially when you only hear bad things about a product.
Let's talk about the elephant in the room.
Another concern can be cost-related, which is completely valid. When talking about ABDLs, your daily kink item is usually disposable, meaning you have to replenish the stock. This cost can get pretty expensive, unless you find one that works for you at a reasonable price for a trade-off. You must break it down on a price per diaper level and if they hold up enough for you specifically. I spend around $60-110 a month on my supplies which is used for both incontinence and my ABDL side. As for the monthly cost for disposable items (diapers, lubes, etc.), 19 participants said they spend under $100 a month, 28 participants said they spend around $100-250, and 8 participants spend around $251-500 a month. Luckily, if your kink involves reusable items and they can be used in your daily life, your average cost will be practically nothing. Unless you look at the overall cost of those reusable items, like my questionnaire did. It was so close to being a tie, but 14 participants said they have spent $251-500 on reusable items while 13 participants said they spent over $1000. The 13 individuals who selected over $1000 were given a spot to give a rough number for what they think they've spent with the top answer being $5000. These are individuals who are seriously invested in their kinks/fetishes. Don't think that's knocking anyone who's spent under the $1000 mark, as 16 participants selected either under $100 or $100-200 for reusable items. You don't have to invest every last penny you have to feel like you're invested. Most people acquire their items over time as they grow and understand what aspects are personally fulfilling to them.
To summarize, from what we've discussed, it's clear that most people who bring kink into their daily do it for self-expression. You have to be conscious of how you're handling it; from incorporating others into it, to an average monthly cost, you should only push yourself to what you can manage. Don't use others as a marker for how you should live out your kinky life.
That's it for Kinks In Day-To-Day: Part 1 and I hope you walked away understanding just a little more. Join us next time when we dive into the more personal opinions that involve kinks and fetishes. Remember to stay kinky and live life proud.