Sartorial choices are an inherent aspect of how we express and identify ourselves as people, but what happens when we take that away?
The desire to have a caretaker make choices for them is one many ABDLs can probably relate to, but that power dynamic can be found in so many more types of play. From chastity to total submission, even to impact play and bondage, choice is a powerful tool we wield. I think it’s no surprise that so many kink dynamics boil down to playing with the idea of choice, as it speaks so deeply to our ability to act.
Ultimately, choice is all we have. You may not always have a good choice, or an easy choice to make, but you always have a choice. It is our ability to choose that defines us in each waking moment of our lives. Our ability to act, to live in the moment, as it were. Even when faced with terrible circumstances and limited options, we always have the ability to choose. Likewise, we always have the option to change, to reconsider, to double down, to be cruel, to be kind, to be cruel again. To learn from our mistakes or to repeat them.
For this reason, I actually think most kinks utilise our inherent power as people; we’re cognitive beings, we choose. Situations that limit our choices are exciting, because we get to play with the outcomes and consequences of our actions in a safe way. We can have fun toying with the darker side of having our choices limited, because play is a consenting series of acts. And we still have the choice to end them, to change our minds, to be comforted instead of punished. It is our ability to choose that always defines how we act and who we are at every moment.
Each day, we choose what to wear: what’s comfortable, what’s appropriate for the day’s activities and how we choose to express ourselves. So allowing someone to circumvent that choice for us and even go against our desires can be unendingly thrilling.
I once spent a weekend as a 'Ken doll' for two guys who decided what I wore and punished me for any attempt at autonomy. They called me Ken and kept me in a cage under the one guy's bed, filled with plushies so I really felt like a toy. They kept me padded and made me go out in embarrassing babyish onesies, but "let" me wear jeans and a jacket over it if I was a good doll. I was also starfished and suspended over the bed in a puppy hood and forced to cum on camera, but the sartorial control was the most thrilling thing to me.
Clothing control and forced styling can take many forms and can involve an element of roleplay. Some people are really into “scallifying” others, i.e. making them wear a tracksuit or hoodie and trainers. I personally would love to be forced to wear something totally over-the-top, like Victorian ruffles, have my hair cut and styled, be fussed over and scolded for messing with my outfit. Something uncomfortable that draws stares in public.
Even military and airsoft gear strike similar chords. There’s also definitely a tactile element that rubber and leather lovers I’m sure enjoy in dressing others’ up. I’d love to try taking that further with historical costuming, or being made to wear a pirate outfit and talk and act like one. Transformative kinks have always been at the forefront of my desires. I often fantasise about being stuffed into a fursuit and being made to be a carnival character. Even clowning is a version of transformative clothing control.
While this new interest of mine has certainly opened up a world of possibilities and I look forward to exploring them more, I also encourage everyone to try something new. You never know, having your outfits picked out for you can be extremely erotic!